A Letter to Teenage Girls

I am usually not one to blog about my opinions. It's not that I think it's not good to blog about opinions. I think it is mostly because I am insecure. I care wayyy too much what others think about me. And putting my thoughts and opinions about something on the internet makes me very vulnerable. But this topic has continued to be pressing me and I feel like I just need to get my thoughts out there. My hope and prayer is that this will encourage and challenge young girls. I am not claiming to be an expert in relationships or love, but I remember what it's like to be a Christian teenage girl in this generation {I have only not been a teenager for 5 years} and I hope I can offer some advice. So here goes ...

Dear teenage girl,

The first thing I want you to know is that you are created by a loving maker and you are beautiful. The Bible says that you were wonderfully made. The Message translation puts Psalm 139 like this:

"You know me inside and out you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, The days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day."

I love that! Did you know that those words are REAL and TRUE? God knew YOU before you were born. He wanted you! He planned you. And God doesn't make mistakes. So stop caring what other people say. I know it's easier said than done, trust me, I cared. I cared a lot. But looking back, I know that it doesn't matter. Is it okay to buy cute clothes, wear makeup and do your hair? Of course. Should you let it control you? Should you look in the mirror and think you're ugly in no makeup and sweat pants? No. Don't let the world tell you what to look like. Look like you want to look like. If you don't like makeup- don't wear it. If you don't like dresses- don't wear them. If you love high heels and big necklaces- wear them. Be you. God made you perfectly. You are perfect. Please believe it. Don't let boys tell you're not. If a boy ever tells you he doesn't like the way you look, if you like the way you look, then tell that boy goodbye and don't think about it. You are perfect. Period.

With that said, be modest. Good guys like it. I promise you. When I was 16ish, I liked it when guys looked at me. I liked attention. Well, I don't look back on those times and think "man, that was nice." I think back and I am embarrassed. I wish I cared more about what boys thought of my insides back then. Care about what guys think of your insides. You'll be happier. I can assure you of that.

Another thing I want you to realize, sweet girl, is that love doesn't happen like it happens in the movies or love songs. Now, don't get me wrong, I listen to Taylor Swift. A lot. And I have watched my fair share of chick flicks. But I wish I didn't listen to it as much as I did when I was in high school. Or I wish that I knew that it wasn't real. I am blessed to be married to the love of my life and my best friend. I am crazy in love with him and I think our love story is romantic and special. But sometimes, I think it's not "good enough". Does my standard of not good enough come from The Bible? Sadly, no. When I am having my insecure moments of thinking mine and Erik's love story isn't passionate or fairy tale like, I know I am comparing our relationship to the relationships in movies or love songs. I am sorry to break it to you, but realistically speaking, we don't passionately kiss in the rain. We don't slam doors when we are arguing and then passionately make up. We don't always cuddle or hold hands every second of the day. Erik doesn't stand outside my window and sing to me. We don't go on canoe rides through a lagoon. Don't get me wrong, those things aren't necessarily bad. And maybe in some relationships, things like that do happen. But not in mine. I don't think it's realistic to think that all relationships should be like that. Yes, wait for a guy who treats you special and spoils you. Wait for a guy who loves you for you. But if you are waiting for the kind of love that Taylor Swift sings about or that Nicholas Sparks writes about, I think you might either be waiting for awhile, or if you do find someone, you will end up never feeling satisfied. Do your future husband a favor and don't watch that stuff so much. Don't read romance novels for a little while. Read God's word. Make a list of standards based on God's word, not what the world says.

Girls, I am speaking to you from experience here. I know what it's like. It's still tempting for me to look in the mirror and not be happy with what I look like. It's still tempting for me to feel disappointed with Erik when he doesn't love me like the guy in the current chick flick I just watched loved the main character. I am not sure, but I believe that if I knew a little bit more about how damaging trusting in what the world tells me I am supposed to look like and act, and how my relationship with my boyfriend/fiance/husband is supposed to be like, I could have saved myself some heartache and some disappointments.

I pray this letter doesn't discourage you or make you feel guilty. I hope it reminds you how special you are. I hope it reminds that God has a wonderful plan for your life. I hope it reassures you that not all relationships are like movies. I hope it gives you hope.

Thanks for taking the time to read this letter dear one.  You are so loved.

Love, Amanda